F I R S T - T I M ES
by QuietCryingRage
Summary: this is just a story about Arthur and Eames and how they'd built a credible relationship with no PASIV or sneaking into each other dreams outside strict job, just two people dealing with feelings.
1. I

This is the second fic I post here and again I need to claim that **English is not my first language** so I'm sorry for the lack of vocabulary and of course that I don't own any character.

I've been having trouble to sleep lately and since I saw inception (twice) I've been founding myself creating scenes with Arthur and Eames as the main characters and I can't stop pairing them, I just can't. I never wrote this kind of fic before and I've never read fanfics like theses before either not because I have something against it, no, but because I haven't found a pair that I'd fancy... until Arthur and Eames.

* * *

**F I R S T - T I M E S  
**

_**Arthur&Eames**_

**C H A P T E R - I**_**  
**_

**Argue  
**

In Dublin Eames insisted in sharing a cab but Arthur refused energetically after feeling how close he was to his face, Eames was too drunk and smirky and when Arthur thought things couldn't get more uncomfortable two guys outside the pub started to mock at them, calling them names, that's when Arthur knew he _had enough_:

"keep your distance" he said to Eames with vexed, Eames just smiled as he said "Always afraid", "you're drunk Eames", "so are you" he said getting closer again, Arthur pushed him away with his left arm and Eames, losing his center of gravity ended up butt cheeks on the floor.

Arthur looked at him surprised, he didn't meant to do that... _what he was doing?_ He wasn't an _aggressive person_, but again, they were _drunk_... Still on the floor Eames just smiled while the two men were laughing and mocking again "I swear for God" said Arthur looking at them his hand on a fist, then the cab arrived.

"I'll see you tomorrow, be good Eames" said looking at him sideward "and stand up already! I didn't pushed you that bad" and extended his hand and helped him stand and then he took the cab "see you soon, darling" Eames was still smiling when one of the guys yelled "wankers!"

What Arthur never knew was that Eames stopped smiling after he leaved, grabbed one of the men by the neck and hit him twice and right in the nose, breaking it "take it easy, lad!" said the other one clearly scared, helping his friend "take it easy..." Eames repeated with a blanked look and then grabbed the other one by the jacked saying "who's the wanker now?" before turning his back at them.

* * *

**Confrontation  
**

It was late, really late, it was a chilly night in the old New York warehouse, he was fishing work and leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes... imagining a warm day in Paris when he suddenly felt a warm close this face, it was him, he knew "God damn it" he though "damn you Eames" he continued mentally, it lasted 2 seconds, maybe 3 before Arthur -still with eyes closed- extender his hand over Eames chest sending him away saying shocked "you can't be serious"

"Wrong" Eames said "I'm very serious"

"Please leave... just..." said unable to look at him.

"Look at me" Eames requested but Arthur couldn't... "Always afraid Arthur" he said

"I don't want this, I don't need this" said finally frowning at him mortified.

"Keep saying that to yourself sweet heart, _you might believe it one day"_ and then he took off, leaving Arthur speechless in his chair _"fuck you, fuck you, bastard, fucking... God damn it, Eames, just..._ fuck!" muttered after half hour of silent.

* * *

**London  
**

They were all waiting for the cars after dinner, it was time to say goodbye for a while. Dom and Ariadne shared one, they're both going to take the airplane home, Yusuf was going another direction so he took another cab, Eames decided to stay in London for a bit and Arthur's plane was leaving in 5 hours so they decided to go to the hotel first before leaving to the airport.

He told Eames to share the cab, he raised an eyebrow incredulously.

_"Take it or leave it"_ he said feeling enervated... Eames just stared at him for a moment and said "so you need alcohol to be brave,_ I don't need your drunken pity_"

"Fuck off then" Arthur said bitter "I'm leaving by myself"

"Well, well, look at you, you little prick!" Eames was sarcastic, Eames was upset, Eames really wanted to break Arthur's face right there and then perhaps _kiss him while he bleeds._

"Go to hell" said Arthur walking away... he keep walking fast for a few minutes but he was tired physically and mentally, he wasn't tipsy anymore now he felt dizzy.

"Arthur" Eames voice bristled his neck.

"What" he said turning his face, meeting Eames eyes.

"It's ok" he said softly

"I don't need that condescendence shit right now, not from you, how dare you to..."

"Shhh" Eames rolled his eyes "you're too tired sweetheart, let me escort you to the hotel" but Arthur looked uneasy again "I'll be good" he smiled and then placed his hands into his pockets

"Let's take a cab" Arthur said more calm now looking away

"Nah, we're like 3 streets away from the hotel my little_ Wally West_... I'm pleasantly surprised"

"Is fucking cold... are you sure?" Arthur was thinking out loud.

"yes, this is my town, remember, I know my ways... and take this" Eames took off his gray trench coat and placed it over Arthur's shoulders he was only wearing a shirt with a vest, then again placed his hands into his pockets.

"you don't have to do that" Arthur said touching one of his wrists. Eames looked at him unable to hide his surprise his eyes were wide open and for the first time Arthur wasn't uncomfortable or nervous or angry to notice how wonderfully big and bright Eames eyes were.

They stood there, in the corner of the street staring in silence for almost 10 seconds then Arthur knew it was time to confront what made him feel so uneasy, stressed, mortified, unconfident, angry, mad yet... alive.

So it was him who leaned before Eames who was too surprised and still to think or move, he closed his eyes and his warm tipsy breath reached Arthur's breath as he closed his eyes too, several wrinkles draw around his dark closed eyes, Eames was trembling and not because of the cold, he was used to the cold weather of London.

"You..." he murmured with his eyes closed

"Shut up" Said Arthur pressing his lips violently over his.

He felt something warm, he knew that feeling, he felt it before but at the same time it was something completely new and _different_ and wonderful and sweet. Eames lips were so fleshy and Arthur's were so thin. Eames push him closer, then they looked at each other, Arthur touched Eames lips with his fingers, Eames smiled and the coat fell to the ground, they did not care.

Eames kissed him back this time, really slow, caressing his face so softly and gently that Arthur's body trembled, "_you taste so good" _Eames murmured ecstatically, Arthur's tongue was shy and gentle between his lips something that made Eames burst with passion all sudden sucking his lower lip, placing his hand in the back of Arthur's _long perfect neck_ pushing him forward while his free hand was pressing his finger tips one by one, Arthur smiled making their teeth crash violently, _crooked teeth_, he thought, he didn't care.

It was late, it was cold, they were on a corner and exposed, but Arthur didn't mind.

"What do you wanted to say anyways?"

"I was going to say 'you don't want to do this in the middle of the street, but I guess you do" he was smirky Eames again.

Arthur smiled and kissed him in the commeasure of the lips, he didn't fucking mind, _not anymore._

_

* * *

_

I think, due to the levels this is taking in my mind, I'll be writing more soon and may be "stronger" and hopefully deeper, if you got here btw...thanks for reading me.


	2. II

Well this is the second chapter (hopefuly not the last) of this history, thank you in advance for reading and once more, English is not my first language so you might find my vocabulary poor and repetitive.

and course I don't own the characters, I wish I did.

* * *

**F I R S T – T I MES**

**Arthur & Eames**

**C H A P T E R - II  
**

**Denial**

"_I'll see you soon, be good Eames_

_Arthur"_

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were _snoring"_

Arthur wasn't even looking at him, his eyes were on the model that Ariadne had made for the upcoming job while taking mental notes, he was tired, he haven't sleep since he got to Amsterdam.

"Shut up, I don't snore…" - Eames lifted his eyebrow unbeliever and annoyed.-

"Oh, but you do" – Arthur's face was expressionless when he finally meet Eames "perhaps you'd rather I disappear without a trace?" his eyes were back to the model

"I'm sorry but you can't expect me to find that note _cute_"

"I had a plain to catch Eames…" - said a little exasperated.-

"I could have escort you to the airport"

"Aren't you being a little melodramatic?" … - said annoyed giving him an irritated look.-

"Aren't you being a bit of an arse?" – He said enraged-

"I was _drunk_" – Arthur gave him a look that Eames could only interpret as regret.-

"Still a kiss_, sweet heart_…"- Said with sour.-

His eyes blinked now and then but his mind was a complete –and forced- blank, while Eames eyes were wide open and still in his mind he was mentally punching Arthur's _handsome_ face.

"I don't want to _talk _about this now" – he looked away.-

"You know what, _kid_?" – said raising his eyebrows, staring at the ceiling - "the world isn't going to end because of what you did…" - took the cigarette on his ear- "but do remember _one _thing" – and pointed Arthur with it.- "you _kissed_ me, think about that the next time you come to me" - Eames lit his cigarette as he walked towards the door.-

"It _won't_ happen again…" - Arthur convinced himself as he spoke looking through the window, it was late again.-

"_Keep saying that to yourself_… -Eames smiled evil - "actually" – he said exhaling smoke then meeting Arthur's blanked look- "_do it,_ _please believe it_ because I'm not sure if I'm interested anymore, I'm not very good at dealing with _denial._ "

"Who's the_ arse _now?" – Arthur shouted.-

"Good night, _kid._"

_

* * *

_

**Football**

It was an early September Sunday, and the gunners were going to play that afternoon he didn't want to go alone and he knew Cobb didn't like football and Yusuf was a Chelsea fan _"wanker"_ so that only leaved Ariadne

"Sure, I like soccer!" – Ariadne was keen about the invitation.-

"Alright sugar, but don't call it _soccer_ while we're on the stands I don't want to get killed this particular afternoon"

Ariadne laughed and blushed

"I'll keep my American mouth shut."

At one pm they were ready to kick to the stadium, they were pretty close, just a few blocks away - Eames really enjoyed to walk his way thought London more than any other city he lived in.- but something disturbed him when they were close to the gate, they spotted Arthur's wearing Steven Gerrard's t-shirt besides Yusuf.

"Are you fucking with me right now?"– Eames said to Arthur, this was the first time Eames said anything to him in more than 6 weeks.-

"I thought you were a Chelsea fan" – was Arthur's reply.-

"NO" – Eames was offended, a childish feeling maybe, but football is _no joke _for him and Arthur was wearing a fucking Liverpool t-shirt.-

"Why so grumpy Eames?" – said Yusuf amused. – "I still have a seat for you in Stamford Bridge by the way."

"You can stick it up into your arse" -Yusuf instantly laughed at Eames. - "And _you_" – raised his eyebrow. - "fucking Liverpool?"

"Please tell me isn't because of 'the Beatles' that'd be beyond silly, even Yusuf lived here for a while, am I right?"– Ariadne was picking Eames side just to tease Arthur; she liked to see him do faces.-

"Yes Ariadne, best three years of my adolescence" – Yusuf smiled mischievously.-

"For _your_ information" – Arthur finally said. - "I studied there a whole semester, at the Liverpool University."

"Really? That's pretty cool" – said Ariadne. - "it seems like the only who hasn't lived in England is me, damn, I feel so _uncool_" – she was of course joking, trying to ease the tempers.-

"Well pet, now you will see which team is actually worth of calling themselves a _football team._"

"Be quiet Eames" – said Yusuf smiling. - "You aren't even wearing your team t-shirt."

"Let's say I don't need a t-shirt to look like a gunner, I'm from here, remember."

"Can we please just enjoy the game" – said Arthur rolling his eyes.-

"Yeah guys, enough for the pre-match insults, let's just get in… wich seats do you have, by the way?" - Ariadne asked to Yusuf.-

"We're going to _The Diamond's Club_… a sky box"– said Yusuf. - "you can come too Ariadne if you like."

"Rubbish"– said Eames looking how the gates where opening, - "we're going to sit close to the pitch because that's where you really enjoy the games."

"It was a gift from Saito" – Yusuf replied. - "did you know he's a shareholder of the club Eames?"

"I wouldn't be surprised…" - he said without looking at Yusuf.

They walked into de stadium together then, inside they went separated ways.

"There's a way you guys would join us? I mean, _boomer_ you two, being all snobs in a sky box! What do you say? "

"In the second half "– said Yusuf. - "let me see what I can do… I'll text you! "

"Promised! You too Arthur or are you afraid of being insulted down there? "

"Not at all, we will just talk to Saito's people and we'll get back to you, good luck Eames, enjoy the game Ariadne."

"Piss off already!" – Was Eames reply.-

Arthur smiled, but only Ariadne could see it.

"This is really awesome" – Ariadne said already in the seats - "I mean, we're right in front of the field, I can't believe it, this is so exiting! How did you got these? "

"I told you, I'm from here"–Eames slimed naughtily-

"What did you do?" – Ariadne said curious-

"A little inside job… "- Eames laughed.-

"What did you do?" – Ariadne was inquisitive-

"Got into Bruce Buck mind… stole some valuable information."

"Who's he?"–She was clueless.-

"Chelsea's FC president, but don't tell Yusuf... that was before you and him, even Arthur was on a little hiatus that time… Just Nash, Dom and I"

"When?"

"Two years ago"

"Damn! Well, I'll give you this, freaking good seats!"

The first half was really entertaining they could see everything really close, Ariadne who wasn't exactly football savvy asked Eames wherever doubt she had and Eames was more than pleased to answer.

"This is only the second time I'm in this stadium" – he said.-

"Really? I though you grew up here. "

"This is a new structure; I watched the games in Highbury when I was a child"

"I should have noticed this was new, I mean, is really modern… I'd like to see Highbury too!"

"It was demolish I'm afraid… but we can go, there's a few pubs I like."

"Demolish? I see…Pints after the game then? "

"You bet!"

The first half was about to end, Ariadne enjoyed to see Eames cursing Liverpool players while telling her facts "that's Gerrard the lad from Arthur's shirt, he's a good captain I'll give him that he's also England's captain" , "that's Césc Fábregas, he's Spaniard and our captain, fucking awesome player, hope we're lucky enough to see him scoring today"… "He's cute" Ariadne said "yeah he's not too scruffy", "the club is 124 years old" , "wow now I know why you get mad when Americans call this soccer, I mean this is what real football is all about!" , "wise words pet, I never understood why you call it football, I mean is not even shaped like a ball and you carry it around like a purse" Ariadne was completely amused, laughing very loud, but it didn't matter because everybody was chanting and jumping and no one cared about her loudness. The first half ended in zero for both teams…

"Oh, Yusuf just texted"

_"Where are you?"_

"We exactly are we Eames?"

"Lower tier, block number 5, text him there's two free seats over here, bring you something to drink?"

"Just water!"

"Alright, be right back."

By the time he returned with water, drinks and ships Arthur was sitting in Arianne's spot and she was a row further with Yusuf "here's your water, got tired of me?", "Oh no, Yusuf was telling me about the best three years of his adolescence I'll be with you in a bit!" Eames smiled giving up on her, he sat next to Arthur.

"I really, really thought you were a Chelsea fan."

"Why?" – They weren't looking at each other, their eyes right on the grass.-

"Don't know really, maybe because I met a few blues back in Liverpool and they had a bit of your attitude, actually that's one of the first things I thought about you 'sure he's a pensioner'"

"Gunners are also tough "

Arthur was about to said something when he was interrupted by Ariadne

"Yusuf is telling me that by your raise location you should be a West Ham fan"

"Well darling, if we take Yusuf raise location he shouldn't even be a bloody Chelsea fan but he is… isn't right my Bandari FC friend?"

"You got me "– said Yusuf in laughter-

"But why are you an Arsenal fan then?"

"My mom is an Arsenal fan."

"And your dad?"

"I don't have a bloody clue about that."

"Did I say something wrong?" –Said Ariadne embarrassed.-

"Not all at sweet heart, I was raised by a single mom and two older sisters, gunners, all of them."

"So your mom is from south London?" – Asked Yusuf.-

"That's right and my two sisters…"

"Are they older than you?" – Asked Arthur who had remained in silence for a while.-

"Yes."

"Can we know their names?" - Asked Ariadne.-

"Sure, Maggie is the oldest she's 40 and Amy, she's 35".

"Did they dressed you up like a girl and gave you names?" – Asked Ariadne laughing- "because my cousins do that with my little cousin Joe, they called him "Florence""

Eames started to laugh really hard followed by Yusuf and finally Arthur

"Yes they did, of course, but my name was _Emily_."

They laughed at the same time as they started to eat the snacks.

"what was like the Diamond's club?" Eames asked to Arthur "snob and half" he replied, they looked at each other for a few seconds and then the second half was on.

"One of my cousins, Amelia, clothed me with her snow white dress once, it was very traumatic, my grandpa found me in it, I was 8 and God, I remember everything very clear."

"What did he do?" – Asked Eames.-

"He told me _"son, boys don't dress like girls"_ and he gave me that look" – he mimicked the hard and disapproved look, Eames smiled- "I cried so hard, for hours and it wasn't because of what he said I knew that but that look, he never looked me like that again, never and it's stuck in my head…" - said thoughtful-

"Why are you telling me this?" – Eames was genuinely confused.-

"I don't know" – he said still pensive- "I just wanted you to know."

"Well – he said looking at him side wards. - I appreciated."

They smiled at each other for a moment and then at minute 58 a Fábregas goal, they game would end up Arsenal 1 -0 Liverpool

"Pints on me!"– Said Eames chipper. – I find me self in good spirits…" - he said sarcastically looking into Yusuf and Arthur direction.

"I'm texting Dom" – said Ariadne.-

"Tell him we're going to _The Bank of Friendship_ for a post match pint, he knows where it is."

"_We're going to "the bank of friendship", don't be a party popper and join us, pints are on Eames"_

"Arthur" – Eames said raising an eyebrow sarcastic. - "You might want to change that t-shirt it is a _gunners pub. _I don't want get in a fight to defend your honor, sugar"

Arthur raised his eyebrow "not amused, not amused at all" he said taking off his Gerrard t-shirt.

* * *

Here I'm _busted_, I love football and I'd like to think that Eames is a Gunner instead of a blue (I can't stand blues IRL) and I wanted to go with Fullham or West Ham originally but it was nicer to make him fan of a big team like Arsenal FC because is one of my favorite teams of the Premier League (even though I was made for Liverpool and Liverpool was made for me, _YNWA_) and it wasn't fair to make Eames a red since in my mind (and having awareness of Tom's background) he's a London lad so I went for Arthur and make him a red and Yusuf a blue because I can see him wearing a blue Chelsea t-shirt since the Bandari FC (a mombasa football team) has a bit of blue as well :)


	3. III

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Arthur or Eames, English is not my first language but I take all criticism and appreciate all the reviews (good or bad) and thank you to everybody who had "fave and alert" this.

This is my version of Eames so I had to pick a first name, I don't know if you will agree on it but, I see him and that's the name, that's the name I'd like to call him.

**This gets more adult friendly**, btw, **consider yourself warned**. I'll be ending this hopefully, in 5 chapters.

* * *

**F I R S T – T I M E S**

**Arthur & Eames**

**C H A P T E R - III  
**

**Character, family**

"I like London" – said Arthur. - "I _miss_ London"

"You miss London?" – Eames smiled as one who wins a battle.-

Arthur stretched his lips in a smile looking at Eames from the corner of his eyes.

"What about a few beers?" – Arthur proposed.-

"That's not a good idea" – he said grave. - "but I can stay for a bit if you like"

Arthur nodded.

"Is fucking cold"– Eames complained- "tell me again why we keep working in old warehouses with no heating, especially in frosty countries like Russia?"

"Because it makes us feel like underdogs" – he smiled.-

Arthur was sitting in his desk as usual and Eames was sitting in front of him on the other side spinning his poker chip

"And I thought we did it to keep it low and quiet…"

"That too"

Both smiled but not to each other

"I wanted you to know about the dress because I need you to understand where I'm coming from" – he said lost in thought.-

"Alright" – Eames said expressionless, he wasn't expecting to hear it.-

"Is just that I"

Said Arthur but Eames interrupted him

"Reality is, we kissed and I enjoyed it because I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong"

Arthur face turn red for a second he looked away but it was too late, Eames had noticed.

"I believe it has a lot to do with your family?" – Tried to sound casual scratching his head-

"I had male figures in my life Arthur; my aunt Charlie, he is really tough and my grandfather was a war veteran, a very cold stoned man, always doing the right thing and expecting nothing but excellence from the people around him and that's why he was so miserable, because my mom isn't perfect and my sisters always followed their guts. Maggie gave up med school and is a nurse now a _very degrading job _according to him but she works for the Red Cross and does a lot of volunteer job around the world.

"What about Amy?" – He asked.-

"Oh Amy died when she was 20, she OD, I didn't want to mention it at the game"

"Oh" – he uttered, he got him out of his place. - "I'm sorry"

He noticed how Eames clenched his teeth and frowned.-

"My fault, I should have say it"

"No, you were in your right"

The remained in silence for a few minutes, Arthur kept writing notes but thinking how to break the silence, he didn't want to leave him that thoughtful, it was rather _uncomfortable_… rather _worrying._

"I found her in her room, though she was sleeping" – he swallowed, still frowning meditative- "I didn't knew she was on drugs, I wish I did"

"I'm sorry" – Arthur didn't know what else to say.-

"Then I drop out school, started traveling… and that pretty much resumes my life until I was 28, how'd you resume yours?"

"Well – he sighed.- Divorced parents, my dad remarried and started another family, another son –rolled his eyes.- my mom never got married again, she dedicated to me heart and soul... and my male figure is without a doubt my grandfather, a southern Vietnam veteran, he wasn't bad just very… disciplined. –he paused. - and he wanted that from me too" –frowned with concern.-

"So you were raised like a little soldier, right?"

"Is not that hard to figure, huh? – He smiled foolishly.-

"Your posture yells military training, even now – he gave a glance to this shoulders and chest.- sitting there … and sometimes I really expect you to 'sir, yes sir' to Dom so, yeah, I had it figured since the first time I saw you"

Arthur laughed and continued "then I went to uni, UCLA then In the third semester I went to Liverpool, then back to UCLA then another semester in Paris, there I met Dom and didn't finish my career"

"Have thought about finishing it?"

"Yeah, but not now, maybe later on …"

"What does your old man have to say about that?"

"Well, he doesn't know… just yet, he thinks I'm in France"

Eames laughed this time and Arthur followed

"I laugh but I also feel strange, I'm doing things I don't usually do, I wasn't raised like this" – he frowned a bit preoccupied.-

"Who knows" – said Eames reflective. - "Maybe you're starting to be more like yourself and less like how you were raised to be" – Eames frowned his lips funnily raising his eyebrows.-

"That's an interesting formulation" – he laughed at Eames face. - "you look ridiculous"

"That's no way to talk to your company for the night, Arthur." – He smirked and lit a cigarette.-

"Aren't your tired?" – He said noticing Eames eye bags all sudden.-

"Always" – he replied don't paying much attention.-

"Maybe you should go back to the hotel"

"Nah" – he replied. - "I don't want to go anywhere… - he looked at Arthur quickly. - is fucking cold out there"

"Or maybe you can sleep here…" – he said contemplating the couch.-

"I don't want to use it to dream you know?" – He was referring of course to the PASIV lying in the other table across the warehouse in front of him.-

"I'm referring to the couch, over there... go sleep Eames you look really tired" – Arthur insisted.-

"Alright" – he succumbed. - "but wake me up before everyone gets here"

"Yes sir" – he mocked.-

Eames looked at him for a moment, a caring look that made Arthur go red. "cute" he said and went to rest in the couch "don't work too much" he said "you know I have to" they smiled at each other.

But it was really hypnotizing, to watch him sleep, he was so tired, he closed his eyes and that was it, and looked so calm like he was recovering strength... and he wasn't snoring this time "back to work, Arthur" he taunt himself.

* * *

**Ghost, Ardor **

"What the hell is she doing here?" – Asked Dom exasperated. –

"She's not Mal and you know it, chill, she's not going to do anything"

"I need you_ focused_ Eames, damn it!"

Amy was sitting at one of the tables of the restaurant looking at his brother with a sweet smile; he smiled back and whispered "stay there" she just smiled more.

Eames was going to impersonate the target's brother, someone that got really screwed by the target and they were going to use that guilt to get an adress/location. This was a work for one of Saito's friends a brilliant business man he wanted to have on his team and when Saito asked what he had to do to make him accept his work proposal he said "I need my money back"

Amy started to shout Eames name, the target looked at her confused then Dom sat next to her and started to talk, Eames hurried up.

"Everything's in the old lake house in Georgia, in the back of our mother's portrait you know the numbers, mom and dad's wedding day, you can have it all, I don't want more betrayal"

Eames looked at Dom quickly while the target hugged him

"No harm feelings" –Eames said comforting the man.-

"JOHN!" – Amy screamed again.-

_Non ! Rien de rien  
Non ! Je ne regrette rien  
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait  
Ni le mal tout ça m'est bien égal !_

"Brother" – Eames said to the target before he was able to utter a word. - "we should get there, get to the house"

"Yeah" – he said looking the girl. - "do you know who she is?"

"Not at all…" – he said with a perfect poker face.-

"Yeah… yeah let's go to the house"

_Non ! Rien de rien  
Non ! Je ne regrette rien  
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait  
Ni le mal tout ça m'est bien égal !_

They had to pass her side to get out of the restaurant this put him nervous, he looked at Amy really quick "be quiet" he mouthed Amy looked down to the floor but touched his arm softly as they passed by "I miss you" she said, Eames eyes crystallized

_Non! Rien de rien  
Non! Je ne regrette rien  
C'est payé, balayé, oublié  
Je me fous du passé! _

Outside the restaurant sitting on a bench was Arthur looking at Eames, noticing something was wrong

"What?" – Was Arthur's expression. - "The kick" -he mouthed.-

Eames nodded and moved his jacket a bit letting Arthur see his gun, Arthur closed his eyes impotent, he hated _plan B_

Arthur heard a girl shouting Eames name, he looked at her and saw how he started to talk with the target trying to get his attention but his projections were already looking them all.

"Brother please, please!" – Amy cried, Dom was already behind her.-

_Avec mes souvenirs  
J'ai allumé le feu  
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs  
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux !_

"James" – said Eames to the target. - "I don't know who the hell is that but you need to calm down"

"I…" – was he's reply "I'm dreaming?"

Eames slapped him "does that feel like a dream?"

"Why did you do that?" – The target smiled and the projections were back to normal.-

"You found it funny?" – Eames was surprised.-

"Don't you remember? We used to slap each other until someone gave up"

"Of course I remember"- Replied quickly. - "But we're grownups now" – he faked a smile. - "let's get out of here.-"

"Is this Amy?" – Asked Arthur getting close to Dom.-

"He told you?" – Dom was surprised and confused, Arthur nodded.-

Arthur looked at Amy, a slim, pale, petit girl with rosy cheeks, brown long wavy hair, dark eyes and pouty_ blood red_ lips, she was _stunning. _

_Non ! Rien de rien  
Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait_

"Please!" Amy cried tearing her throat

"This is ridiculous" – Dom said closing his eyes impotent. - "plan B"

He took his gun and said "I really hope he got what we need… want some help?" – Said showing his gun to Arthur.-

"I can do this" – he said holding Amy who was trying to run on Eames direction.- "let me go!" she yelled at Arthur "he's my brother, my brother, please!"

_Balayées les amours  
Et tous leurs trémolos  
Balayés pour toujours  
Je repars à zero_

"Oh _Eames_" Dom shook his head "_fast" _said to Arthur and shot himself falling on the floor, the reflections started to run after them, Eames got out of the car fast and yelled at Arthur "do it!" but Arthur got caught and started fighting while Amy ran into Eames arms

"I'm sorry" – Amy cried. - "please, brother"

Eames got her as quick as he could and took her into his arms "it's ok sweet heart" , he looked at Arthur who was fighting all over "Do it!" he yelled "come quickly" he said then shot himself.

_Non! Rien de rien  
Car ma vie, car mes joies _

Eames hugged her really strong, they were trying to take her away from him "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", "I'm sorry too love" he said ready to let go, they grabbed her by the legs and got him by the hair, "John!" he was ready "bye, pet" he said with tears in his eyes pointing the gun to his head.

_Non! Rien de rien  
Car ma vie, car mes joies  
Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi _

Eames shot himself.

Yusuf was already leaving the train wagon when he opened his teary eyes "move fast" he said "Dom is really mad"

Back at the warehouse Dom was ready to give a lecture

"What the actual fuck Eames?" – He looked at him irritated and frustrated.-

"What the fuck are you complaining about? at least I didn't turn her into a _killer psychopath_"

Dom grabbed him by the shirt "how fucking dare you!" – he shouted.-

Arthur separated them "enough!" -He pushed them apart- "do we have what we need, Eames?" he looked at him trying to calm them down.

"Yes" – he said. - "I'm out of here"

"Eames" said Ariadne "please don't go like this, please guys... _Dom_…" she begged

Their breathing was fast, their hearts savagely beating, both so _angry_ and so _wound_

"I'm sorry, I know what day it is" – Dom said finally. - "I freaked out, you haven't projected her in a while and I..."

"Is just that, ok, is the day, I didn't meant to have her there, clearly, she just appeared, I though _you _more than anybody would _get it_"

"I do" – he said feeling guilty. - "you know I do, let's just –he gasped for air.- we need the information"

Dom and Eames asked everybody to leave, Arthur refused at first until Eames told him they were fine.

"He told me". - Arthur said to Yusuf. - "is her birthday?"

"No, she died on this date" – Yusuf told him whispering.-

"Who died?" –Ariadne asked confused.-

Yusuf looked at her ready to explain while Arthur was ready to leave.

Later that night Eames was resting in his bed when he heard a knock

"Oh just come in!" – He yelled too tired to get up

Arthur opened the door slowly "why do you leave the door open?" – He asked sounding protective.-

"What do you care" –said annoyed. - "I'm really exhausted" – he was watching tv.-

"I'll go then"

"Were you planning on staying?" – He said sarcastically.-

"I was, yes" – Arthur couldn't believe his own words but it was too late to take it back and surprisingly he didn't want to take those words back.-

Eames looked at him astonished "wha…"

"Shut up" – Arthur said closing the door "I'm keeping you company like you did the other time in Moscow"

"Sweet heart – he said sarcastically in a funny tone. - "how _thoughtful _of you"

Arthur frowned at him sitting on a couch in the corner

"Ah, ah" – Eames said already smirking. - "Come to bed" – palmed the surface of the mattress. - "come on…"

"Shut up, what are we watching?" – He placed his eyes of the TV.-

"We?" – He laughed naughty. - "don't mess with me like that, sugar."

"Eames…" – Arthur looked at him from the darkness of the corner.-

"Yes, Arthur"

"I'll kick you in the ass if you don't shut up already and tune ESPN, I want to watch Sports Center"

"Huh, that'd I like to see" – he looked at him from the corner of his eyes, smiling wicked.-

Eames raised from the bed, he's just wearing boxers and a white V neck shirt "no" says Arthur loud "so you are going to kick my ass?" he yells laughing "you little prick!" he grabs Arthur's arm rising him from the chair, Arthur pushes him away before he gets too close "enough" he saiys vexed "would you please…" Eames grabs Arthur with both arms bringing him closer to his chest, Arthur struggles "come on!" he yells angry "what?" – says Eames acting like he didn't listen.- "I can't hear you" , "fuck you Eames!" says unable to get loose, Eames crooked smile makes Arthur even angrier and finally gets the strength to push Eames a away and let go.

"You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" – Arthur pushes him against the wall "I'm going to kick your ass!" Eames laughs "don't fucking laugh!" Arthur is losing his temper but Eames can't stop, it's amusing, Arthur grabs him by the shirt banging him against the wall several times, Eames just smiles "I'll erase that stupid smile from you face!" he takes him by the arm throwing him into the bed by accident.

Eames stands up again immediately "come here" he says opening his arms, composed, Arthur shook his head, Eames smiles once more "afraid?", "go to hell", "come to hell with me then" he replies.

Arthur is breathing faster and faster as he looks how calm Eames is, his hair messed up, his shirt stretched out by him, he felt something strange inside him – something that wasn't strange at all, he was just in denial again.-"God, what is this?" he says out loud closing his eyes, immobilized by the fear, Eames tries to come closer to hug him but Arthur refuses, Eames tries again more firmly... and Arthur buries his face on Eames chest "what is _this_", "calm down" Eames whispers to his ear "is ok, I promise"

Arthur took Eames by the sleeve, stretching it a little, then his back, stretching the shirt a bit more, "I…" Arthur murmured "I'm so exhausted, today was a hard day", "it was" Eames agreed "I'm sorry about your sister" he said finally "that's what I wanted to say all along, I'm sorry, she was really beautiful Eames" Eames eyes filled with tears, not capable to say anything, Arthur felt him swallowing and raised his face looking Eames neck for a moment, then, kissed it tenderly.

"Don't mess with my head Arthur, not tonight" Eames voice was cross all sudden "I feel weak right now" Arthur kissed his neck again more softly and wet this time, Eames moaned "_God, Arthur_" tricking his head.

Arthur took control pushing him against the wall; Eames eyes were closed, carried away by Arthur. He grabbed Eames face and kissed him violently, Eames mouth opened between his and they embraced each other strongly.

Eames bringed him as close and he could placing his hands on Arthur's back, caressing him slowly each time, Arthur hands where on his ears then cheek bones and his mouth.

Eames sucked Arthur's thumb slowly looking him directly in the eye, Arthur moaned, what a beautiful sound to his ears, then Arthur sucked Eames lower lip getting his knee up clumsily between Eames thighs, he moaned and gasped on his ear, Arthur's neck bristled.

"Are you going to stop messing with my head, sweet heart?" Eames hands were on Arthur's tights now; Arthur tricked his head losing concentration, out of breath, while Eames shoving him roughly against the wall opened his e_xpensive_ pants.

Arthur closed his eyes harder "no" he thought "no, no, no" he thought again at Eames touch but _stiffens_.

Eames licks and sucks his way into Arthur's neck, high above where any shirt collars will be able to hide it, Arthur breathed faster and faster "_oh God_" he utters "_baiser__, __baiser__!" _he cries in arousal and hit him on the shoulder, Eames laughs, he doesn't understand shit of French but he can imagine "you're going to pay for every time I thought about you since London and felt miserable" and Arthur babbled against Eames ears_, "__à l'enfer__"_ biting his shoulder.

Eames was in ecstasy breathing unevenly, rolling his tongue over Arthur's perfect straight teeth, he loved to hear him moan and cry at French more that he'd ever thought, he lifted Arthur's shirt and caressed his chest slowly, jacking him off, watching him get more and more weak "about to come" he thinks and bits his lips and kiss his mouth right after "you like this?" he asks demanding "yes" Arthur tenses "you want this?" he whispers into Arthurs ear; Arthur looks at him and brings him closer, kissing him tenderly then ripping off his stretched shirt, "_do you want this?_" Eames goes faster, demanding a respond "Yes, yes, I want this _you fuck!_" Eames laughs and slows a bit, Arthur opens his eyes stunned and notices Eames tattoos for the first time, they seem so strange yet beautiful a mix that only Eames could make work, he kisses him urgently fisting his fingers into his arms "are you going to come for me, darling?" Eames smiles mischievously feeling Arthur's urge "yes" he says in what was nearly a sob, Eames goes faster and kisses him slowly then goes slow and careful "you have no idea of how goddamn beautiful you look right now, Arthur" he says going violently again... Arthur almost collapses when he _comes_ into Eames womb, breathless, Eames holds him close.

"I…" blabbed Arthur "I…"

"_Shhh_" – Eames whispers

Arthur shakes in Eames arms while he curses in French and English "_Oh merde__, fucking hell_" Eames smiles and kisses him as he carries him into bed.

"stay there, pet", "where are you going?" he asked stunned "I need to jack off" Arthur went red for a second and Eames winked at him being his smirky self again.

Eames was in the bathroom jacking off rapidly, moaning and closing his eyes tightly thinking about Arthur.

Arthur stood from the bed still trembling with his pants open, he realizes Eames didn't undress him as much as he undressed him, he smiles tiredly as he walks towards the bathroom, the door is open, he sees Eames from the back gasping for air in front of the sink, then, slowly, Arthur presses his fully clothed body against Eames bare back and wraps his arms around his chest "what are you doing" Eames is surprised "I don't really know" he says "should I go?" asks naïve "no, no" Eames was hasty "stay"

* * *

I've been reading some Arthur/Eames fics lately and found something common between some of them, Arthur seems to be ready and I love that don't get me wrong, but part of me wants to be more rational about those two getting into bed together, in my head Arthur is not ready… just yet.

Since I saw the movie I've been wondering, how would I project a loved one? I've lost a few important people in my life and I tend to believe that if Eames had a long dead sister he'd be still mourning her no matter how many years had passed because God knows I still mourn mines.


	4. IV

**DISCLAIMER:** They're not mine, WHY.

this keeps adult friendly, the V chapter is the final thank you for all the faves, alerts and comments :)

I love Russia, I've always pictured myself on a new years eve completely alone in the Red Square.

* * *

**F I R T S - T I M E S **

**Arthur & Eames**

**Memories **

"If I didn't know you I'd think you're eagerly waiting for Eames to cross that door and start teasing you" – said Dom half laugh half serious.

"Well, I do need to see him cross that door, I have to hand him my report and the faster we get on it, the better" – he pointed solemn.-

"Relax Arthur, I was joking… you're not Eames type anyway" – Dom laughed entertain.-

Ariadne looked how tense Arthur's jaw was after the comment "I…"

"Really?" – She said interrupting Arthur. - "because I've never took Eames insinuations as a joke, he seems to be very into him, don't you think, Yusuf?" – She looked at the curly haired man who was busy solving a crossword puzzle.

"Well Ariadne, if I'm obliged to respond – he raised his eyebrow pursing his mouth.- I shall _say_ that I've _never _even see him _fooling_ around with any men so I'm not sure if he fancies Arthur or men at all"

"Don't get offended Yusuf but I know him for a long time…" – Dom added sharp.-

"But Arthur has been receiving a lot of his attentions" – pointed Ariadne. –

"He just likes to tease Arthur, because let's be frank he's very easy to tease" added glancing Arthur's report papers.-

"I'm right here!" – he finally said annoyed frowning.-

"So if Dom, who knows him for a while, says Arthur's not his type - Added Yusuf taking off his eyes of the newspaper, looking Arthur. - don't take it wrong Arthur, my friend, but I'll take Cobb's word, Ariadne"

"I don't think he does Yusuf" – Ariadne smiled. - "right Arthur? I don't think Eames is your type either" – se joked.-

"You're unbelievable" – was his reply. - "I…"

In that moment the big noisy door of the St. Petersburg warehouse opened, Arthur felt a knot is his throat and a hole in his stomach, memories came to his thoughts.

Eames, kissing him in the bathroom after coming over his pants and shirt, completely naked, exhausted then facing down in bed, sleeping heavily, while he was fully clothed and covered in Eames…

"And you've missed me a lot, I hope" – Arthur's line of thought was broken, Eames was already around them, and had greeted to everybody.

Arthur looked Eames for the first time in a complete month, he was wearing a black double breasted Burberry trench coat with cashmere collar "where did he got such a beautiful piece?" this was nothing like the old long and awful grey trench coat he used in London, Arthur was definitely waiting for him to take it off and see the regular awfully clothed Eames.

"That's a nice trench coat, Eames" – Arthur replied several seconds after Eames greeting

"Oh so that's what kept you in silence… it was a gift don't worry I still have an 'awful taste in clothing'"- he winked at him. - "Did you miss me?" – Eames asked with a silky voice that got everyone curious.-

"Shut up Eames" – he rolled his eyes, Eames smiled.

"I know you missed me" – he said mischievously "I know I did" – then he sat in a chair next to Ariadne unbuttoning his coat, revealing a dark grey cotton shirt, black gabardine pants, dark grey sox and black braided oxford shoes

"Someone dressed him" – he though unbeliever.-

"See?" – Ariadne said out loud incapable to hold thoughts

"See what, pet?" – Eames asked.-

"Nothing" – she said quickly embarrassed. - "the model of the first level"

Yusuf nodded funnily holding a laugh, Arthur frowned sitting on his station and Dom was busy not paying them much attention.

Arthur handed Eames the preliminary report about the target

"This is a two level work" –Dom added to Eames. - "this woman is really attached to her sister, that's your job"

Eames looked for the pictures of the girl and his sister a blond long haired girl with blue eyes

"Pretty" – he said smiley. - "I'm on it."

"We're going to spend the evening here until 10 then you can all go to sleep or whatever just get back here at 7 o'clock"

"yes sir" Arthur said without noticing, Eames looked at him immediately, Arthur closed his eyes knowing what he just did, then looked at Eames who was already mocking at him.

Eames was trying to work, he really was, hard, reading the report but all he could think was in Arthur's proximity. His hair was as always brushed back but he was actually wearing dark jeans with a black shirt, a tie a tone lighter than the shirt and a black heavy winter coat with leather boots "too casual for you Arthur" he thought but he didn't look bad at all, Eames fixed his eyes on the paper once more trying to read "Elena Luzhkov, _maiden name_: Slutsker wife of Ivan Luzkov chairman of a Global Network TV…"

"Fuck this" he though "ok, calm down" – he said to himself. - "you'll have time to talk to him"

"Chairman of a Global Network Television in Russia with base in St. Petersburg, Elena Luzhkov is listed among three richest women in the world according to Forbes magazine and RIA Novosti reports."

"I need a cigarette break" – he said finally.-

"Whatever you please" – Dom replied "but don't procrastinate much Eames we need to be on top of this fast"

"I won't I is just fucking cold you know, I'm cold … want to share a cancer stick Arthur?" – Eames asked and quickly regret it he knew the answer.-

"I don't smoke but thanks" – Arthur looked at him inert. - "and it's snowing already by the way…"

"Is never too late to start a bad habit you know?" – He insisted, why was he insisting? It was lame _'stop acting like a bloody idiot!_'-

"Go smoke your cigarette Eames; perhaps later I'll buy you a cup of coffee if you manage to behave"

Ariadne looked at Arthur perplexed, Arthur was actually teasing Eames? She was expecting a "shut up Eames why you're still talking?" but "later I'll buy you a cup of coffee if you manage to behave" that's what he said she looked at Eames face to detect some reaction

"Oh shut it you _plonker_" – he said quickly noticing Ariadne look then went outside to smoke

Arthur outlined a semi smile that only Ariadne noticed.

Outside the floor was already 5 inches covered in snow "bloody hell!" exclaimed Eames "Fucking Russia" he lit his cigarette.

Inside Arthur wasn't able to work and think about Eames at the same time either so he chosen to think about Eames

watching the second edition of Sport Center while Eames slept, glancing at his naked body now and then, shivering by the memory of his kisses "what am I doing?" he panicked "I have to go" he stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom to clean his clothes "a fucking 300 Euros Dior shirt!", "is that so?" Eames said sleepy in the background "Are you thinking about leaving while I'm sleeping again or I'm just being paranoid?"

Under the snow Eames started relieve his moments with Arthur in Amsterdam and couldn't believe he waited to see him a whole month again "the phone sex was _damn good_ nevertheless"

"People have phone sex all the time"

"I know… please don't call it that"

"All people" – he added Eames with a smooth voice "don't be silly, it is what is, isn't it?"

"I don't know what to say…" – Arthur added shyly-

"I'll start, okay?"

"Okay"

"Have you thought about the other night?"

"A lot actually"

"Any particular memory?"

"kissing your neck"

"I wasn't expecting that"

"I know" – he kept from laughing. - "God, I feel like such an idiot!"

"Don't"

"…" – Arthur remained in silence

"Sorry for ruining your clothes…" – he added mockingly.-

"You owe me Eames"

"I'll give you one of mines" -he joked.-

"_Yeah right_ because I'd wear one of those _ugly shirts_"

"I'd be particularly offended if you didn't wear a three piece suit all the time, I'll buy you a new one"

"You better, jackass"

The kept quiet for a bit then Eames asked

"Did you learn your French while being in France or…" – said laughing a bit.-

"Oh shut up!"

"No, no… honest, where?"

"I took a few courses here and there before actually going to France"

"I see…"

"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" – That's right he said it, '_I can't believe I just said that!'_.-

"Well Arthur, years and years of practice… and I'm guessing you learned to use your tongue in France am I right?"

Arthur laughed, Eames followed…

"I didn't know what I was doing… well I did know, but, _agh_, you get my point"

"I do and I'm glad _you_ kissed me, _again_"

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did"

"I started this"

"It would be fair to say"

"I enjoyed it"

"Me too"

"I like your lips" – he was saying those things again, _'I can't keep myself quiet, can't I?'_

"Do you?"

"Yeah…"

"How much"

"More than I'd like to admit… don't push"

"I won't but, would you touch yourself for me Arthur?" – Eames asked disobedient.-

"You first" –he teased.-

"I already am…"

Meanwhile Arthur remembered why he didn't leave, he looked at Eames wrapped in a sheet, he looked so funny with all the messy hair and smiling crookedly."you were going to leave again, didn't you?", "not anymore" Arthur replied raising his eyebrow, giving up, grabbing Eames by the sheet, taking him to bed, face to face, letting Eames kiss him and caress him each time more tenderly "son of a bitch" Eames said all abrupt "why are you always trying to leave while I'm sleeping?", "shut up" Arthur said "you ruined a fucking expensive shirt so you better shut that big mouth and keep doing what you're doing" , "fuck off I won't kiss you again, ungrateful arse" Eames stood up from the bed giving his back to Arthur then started to look for cigars. "Come to bed Eames" Arthur said a minute after "piss off" Eames replied without looking at him, he found a cigarette but not a _fucking_ matchstick, "please" Arthur begged, Eames looked at him immediately raising his eyebrow sarcastically "whatever you say, cupcake", "cupcake ugh, that's even worse than sugar, just come to bed right now, damn it" Eames smiled but he was giving his back to Arthur so he didn't noticed, he found a matchstick, he sat on the corner of the bed.

"Come here" – said Eames in demanding tone.-

Arthur found his way through the sheets and sat beside him

Eames glanced at Arthur's lips exhaling the smoke out of his lungs

"If you go…- he paused confused mouthing "_go, go… leave_" confused.- if you do that again if you attempt to leave while I'm sleeping, you can honestly forget about what happened here tonight, in this bloody room" – he turned his head to meet Arthur's eyes directly.

Arthur face was relaxed; expressionless with eyes half opened he was actually tired and sleepy

"I told you I wasn't going to leave _anymore_" – he outlined half smile, Eames was breathing fast after speaking his mind, he was too, tired and sleepy but he wanted to clear the air before giving in again. - "can we have some sleep now?"

"So you're staying" – Eames chest was burning he couldn't make himself breathe normally again. He wanted throw something, hit something or perhaps groan and scream and yell and argue with him _'why did you even though about leaving you twat, you're not the only one putting his soul at risk here'_ and why wasn't he able to say it, his chest was killing him.

Arthur noticed Eames condition, he was red and breathing unevenly and smoking "stop that" – Arthur ordered.- "fuck off" Eames replied mad "I said, stop that" Arthur took Eames cigarette away from him, Eames reacted hitting Arthur's arm, Arthur looked at him surprised "that hurt" said pokerfaced "just leave" Eames said covering his face with both hands laying back on the bed "fucking leave" ; "but the thing is, John, I don't want to leave" he laid back beside him, and touched his shoulder, Eames hands were still over his face "John" Arthur whispered "what" he said irritated "I want to stay" ; "then stay, _God damn it _don't mess around, stop thinking about leaving all the time and just fucking stay, for a while _at least_"

Arthur took Eames hands away from his face "you need to have more patience with me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, all I know is that _right now_ I want to sleep beside you because tomorrow we're both leaving, I have to go to Los Angeles and confront my family and you have to go to London and visit your sister's grave, we both have unfinished business"

Eames closed his eyes in pain by the memory of Amy "I'm sorry, I…", "Shhh, let's get some sleep, please" , "of course" he smiled "let me get some water… do you?" ; "yes please, I'd like a glass of water too"

Arthur turned off the television and Eames the lights they laid on the bed next to each other both fighting the urge to sleep, Eames nuzzling Arthur's lips with his nose, Arthur kissing him so slow and tender that made Eames skin crawl

"Fuck, those kisses really made me _shudder_" – Eames remembered smiley finishing his cigarette

"I really made him _tremble_" – Arthur smiled silly on his desk, Ariadne noticed.

"Still want that cup of coffee?" – Asked Arthur at the end of the night right before leaving.-

"You bet" – Eames smiled

"Behave" – he smiled back.-

"see you all tomorrow" – Eames waved.-

Dom frowned confused at the sight of Arthur and Eames leaving together for a coffee, perhaps he was wrong? Maybe Eames liked Arthur after all and even more surprising, maybe Arthur was slowly giving in. "Still doubting Dom?" asked Ariadne smiling mischievously "but he kissed you" Dom responded in a blank "it was worth trying…" she joked

"Have you missed me?" - Eames asked for the third time waiting for an answer this time

"I'll like to skip the coffe if you don't mind" - Arthur replied looking the street lamps and how the snow was falling.

"you didn't answer..." - Eames was feeling impatient.-

"You'll have to come to my room by the way, I booked one for my own and you're with Yusuf so..."

Eames frowned disconted, "yeah, I guess" he replied without much energy or care

Arthur stoped a cab then.

"So cold!" - complained Arthur.-

"Yeah"

Arthur gave indications to the cab driver, showing him the hotel business card the man nodded and started driving, Eames was looking through the car window thinking about the last time he spent time in St. Petersburg, it was actually two years ago and it was, actually, the time he and Arthur made his first job together, he didn't like him then, not at all, it was later on their 4 job maybe when he started to really listen what he had to say, he was brilliant very uptight and shortminded for some things but he was schooled, something Eames wasn't and didn't knew he need until he started to pay attention to Arthur.

"and yes, yes, yes... I've missed you" Arthur finally said turning his hace to Eames and leaning to give him a sweet fast kiss on the cheek.

Eames looked at him with a bit of a blank on his eyes, a bit surprised but then smirked and placed his hand on arthur's tight. "your bed tonight then?"

"shut up" - Arthur smiled.-

* * *

I spend a lot of time sitting in fron on the computed for this one, I wanted to point how obvious Eames would be after spending his night with Arthur even when it was a month ago he's so exited he can't keep his mouth shut or taim himself even when he knows he have to and Arthur, he's not this as prejudiced a he might think he is, he's not ready to spread the world and yell at top of a mountain but he can't treat Eames the same again because is not the same anymore, is better.


	5. V

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I wish!

I know I "said" this will be over by now, but it won't... I'm working on a epilogue (I know I didn't wrote a prologue) because is my best way to give it a decent end to this and because it took me a lot to get to this point and I can't drag this for 20 pages... Also sorry for taking so long, I started working and training (tennis, I suck tho) so I'm fiding myself with little time to sit and write properly.

* * *

**F I R S T - T I M E S **

**Arthur & Eames. **

**Relevance.**

They were lying in bed beside each other; Arthur was watching ESPN while Eames stared at the TV without paying attention.

"Whoa!" – Exclaimed Arthur.-"Arsenal is the second in the table"

"Not surprising" – he said looking a repetition of Césc Fábregas scoring a penalty. – "They're a bloody well oiled machine."

"Meanwhile, Liverpool is at the bottom, fuck." – Arthur rolled his eyes discontent ignoring Eames on purpose.-

Eames smiled mockingly but Arthur didn't notice, he wasn't tired at all he was used to have jet lag but Arthur always noticed dark spots and eye bags and would always tell him to sleep early.

"Is not late, I'm not tired" – he repeated.-

"What do you want to do then?" – Asked Arthur curious and a bit nervous.-

"Just lay here, watch some tv" – he looked at Arthur smiling sweet.-

"ok." – said Arthur not looking.-

He kept watching the news about baseball and American football while Eames secretly fantasized about reaping off Arthur's clothes, lick his neck, going down slowly, performing a _fellatio _on him and then when he is aroused enough Eames would throw him on the floor, facing down and then he would fuck him slowly and careful all night, but Eames knew Arthur wasn't ready for that, he sigh.

Arthur stopped paying attention to the TV when he heard Eames sigh.

"I'm not ready to be intimate with you yet" – said out of nowhere.-

Eames lifted his eyebrow confused then laughed

"Intimate" – he laughed again. – "Where are you from, the 50's? "Intimate" – laughed again.-

"Fuck off" – he said angry sitting fast in the corner of the bed, taking off his shoes. – "I can't talk with you if you're going to be like this."

"You are really cute, you know that?" – Eames stared at his neck and got closer, sitting behind, him wrapping his body against Arthur. –"I know you're not ready, I'm not even saying anything but how can't I? I…" – he paused doubting.-

"What?" – Arthur gave him a glance from the corner of his eyes.-

Eames hugged him from behind

"You can't blame me for thinking about…"

"Is uncomfortable for me, I don't even know… what do you want?"

"Arthur, you know very well what I want."

"Maybe I don't, maybe you need to be more…"

"Graphical?" – Eames laughed a bit. – "I can do that… I want to fuck you, all night"

Arthur's neck bristled

"I…" - he blabbed.-

Eames kissed Arthur's neck a couple times "I want you Arthur" he said almost in a whisper.

"I want you too, you know?"

Arthur swallowed heavily, Eames was surprised.

"You do?"

"Yeah" – he said annoyed. – "Why you sound so surprised?" – He turned his face to him-

"You want me as you want to fuck me here, now."

"Agh" – Arthur growled. – "It sounds so wrong when you say it."

"But it is what is" – Eames added. – "And it is what you're trying to say, right?"

Arthur remained in silence for a while, looking at him… "Arthur" Eames demanded.

"Have you ever?..." – Arthur said faltering.-

"Been fucked by other man?"

"Yes" – he yelled frustrated. - "that's what I'm trying to ask, fucks sake"

"Yes" – he said fast. – "Of course."

"How many?" – He turned his head as much as he could, to see Eames reaction.-

"Two, why is that important?" – He looked annoyed by the question. –"are you making inquiries on how promiscuous I've been?" – He frowned offended. – "because I've been with tons of men if that's what you want to know, I'm a male whore, is that want you want to hear?"

"No" – Arthur was honest. – "I just want to know…"

"Why?" – Eames was annoyed. – "That's not important, is not relevant at all."

"To me it is, it is relevant Eames."

"WHY?" – He demanded in a loud exasperated tone.-

"Because I want to know if I can be special, somehow, I can't stand the idea of not being as relevant to you as you are for me, that, happy?" – Arthur stood up fast in a rage and went to the bathroom.-

Eames stayed on the corner of the bed looking at the wall, flushed and heated by Arthur's words, suddenly his clothes were terribly vaporous it took him a few minutes to calm down and take off his shirt.

Arthur was sitting in the floor of the bathroom with the door closed "_all fucking month talking to him over the phone, telling him how much I enjoyed that night, I, I destoyed my mother for this, fucking asshole"_ Arthur panicked_  
_

Eames looked at the bathroom door "so you're going to sleep in the fucking bathroom?" he yelled annoyed "peachy!"

Arthur heard his words and trembled in the floor; feeling decomposed, breathing fast.

Eames opened the door and saw him collapsed of the floor.

"Baby" – he said uneasy.-

Arthur gave him an irritated look "don't call me that!" he yelled "get the fuck off, I'm not joking!"

"You're panicking again" Eames replied and took his arm "you offend me and then you panick" he said mad lifting him up from the floor but Arthur walked out of the bathroom on a rage. Eames didn't say much more than "we have to get up early" then leaved the room angry, Arthur didn't stop him.

_The next four days would go like this:_

Not talking, looking or staying close to each more than necessary more than what work demanded, Eames would go to the hotel bar with Dom and drink until he was drunk enough to make Dom drag him to the floor he shared with Yusuf, unable to make him go to bed, watching him collapse in the floor where Yusuf would hear him screaming and blabbing unintelligible words, cursing and crying for Amy, all night.

Arthur would work all night occupying his mind with work, and guilt: His conversation with his mother:

They were in the kitchen, his mom was washing the dishes after a great dinner, and his grandpa was already sleeping when his mom asked him if he was dating anybody.

"Do you really mean, anybody or…"

"What do you mean, son?" – His mother looked confused, he understood she wasn't really talking about 'anybody' she was referring of course, to any women.-

"I meant..." – he paused hesitant. – "can I be honest mom? Like, really honest."

"Yeah" – she was absolutely confused and clueless. – "Of course, always baby."

"I'm seeing someone"

His mother smiled and the worry was gone

"Aww, Arthur, baby, that's wonderful!"

"Mom" – he asked a bit rushed. - "let me finish"

His mom gave him that confused look again.

"Is she married?" – She said fast not giving him time to continue.-

"No, mom"

"Oh… then I don't…"

"Please mom" – he asked condescending.-

"Ok, ok, go ahead."

"He" – Arthur looked at his mom with waiting for her reaction.-

His mother went blank

"Mom…" - he asked terrified by her look.-

"You mean, a man?"

"Yes"

"You're not serious" – she said dropping one of the glassed to the floor. – "You're not serious!"

"Mom…" - Arthur felt a knot in his throat. - "is really that bad?"

"It is Arthur, you know it is! You know that very well" - she said in her most severe tone.-

"Then why I feel like this? Can you please…?"

"France contaminated you, I knew this would happen"

"Mom, please, I'm not five years old, I'm grown up man, is not like that…"

"Then tell me how it is, tell me when my only son went gay! – She yelled terrified by her own words already crying-

He asked for her calm and to sit in the living room, she agreed but only because she was feeling sick and needed to sit back to compose herself.

"I wasn't expecting you to be happy about it but, I though you would at least try to understand."

"There's nothing to understand" – she said severe, whipping.-

"I just wanted to tell you" - he said visibly depressed. – "Because I don't want to lie about it but seeing the way you reacted, I won't mention it again."

"That'd be nice" – she said breathing heavily, giving him a disappointed look that Arthur still wished he could wash off his head but it wasn't possible. – "We're not mentioning this to your grandfather."

"I don't want you to."

"I won't" – she looked at him and started to cry again.-

"This doesn't have anything to do with you or the way you raised me."

"How cannot but be that?" – Asked with despair.-

"Is not your fault, is nobody's fault, I don't know who else to put it, I …

"I don't need the details" – she closed his eyes wiping his tears. - "I don't want to know, I'm so disappointed"

But they'd both be up in the early morning ready to work, one full of despair and guilt the other in pain and impotent.

The work went smoothly, as usual, they didn't have any mayor problem since Dom was a free man again thanks to Saito who had become a close friend of the group acting like a protector and collaborator, so they were safe working in different places around the world.

Iit was Friday and they went to bar to drink some vodka before departing, Ariadne was leaving to Venezuela, to the 'Tepuyes' in the Amazon she wanted to see all the different formations of rocks and the highest fall of water of the planet, she wanted to be wild for a change and she wouldn't go alone, Dom was going too and he was taking James and Phillipa along, "I'm not so eager to climb any mountain while I'm there, I just want to breathe fresh air and give myself time to think and take out the kids out of the country for the first time"

Yusuf was ready to return to Mombasa and experiment with some new chemicals maybe he'll call back that girl he met in that pub in London and propose her a nice weekend in Mombasa with him. Arthur was planning on returning to L.A and stay there for a while thinking about not returning Dom's calls or simply talk to him after leaving and ask for some hiatus and Eames… well Eames, as usual, had no certain place to go, he was just planning to get drunk and sleep for days it didn't matter the country.

At some point of the night Arthur was hitting on a blond girl, a typical Russian beauty, Eames looked at him from the dark corner of the table, Arthur was conscious of Eames look, but he wasn't doing it to make him mad, he was doing it to keep himself sane, to get back his mental sanity because "I must have been crazy" to accept Eames in his life.

Ariadne leaved first with Dom, it was 3 am and they were leaving first hour morning, Ariadne was going to Dom's place in the U.S and then they'll go to the amazons, Yusuf followed an hour after all smiles and drunk.

Arthur decided to leave with the girl then, Eames stayed for one more drink. He knew where to find Arthur anyways "but you're not going to" he taunted himself

Eames wasn't really drunk; he barely drank, because he wanted to try to speak to Arthur before leaving "but you're not going to, God damn it" but it was weird, how he felt, a few days back he was listening to Arthur saying very disarticulated "I want you too, you know?" What happened? "he offended me" he whispered to himself... the truth is that Eames had never been confronted like that before "how many?" that was something he certainly haven't hear on his previous encounters or in any of his both relationships, but then he realized something very important, his previous relationships and encounters have always been with men conscious about liking other man and this clearly wasn't Arthur's case "fucks sake" he said thinking out loud.

Arthur was in his room kissing the girl wildly, she was a bit tipsy but not totally drunk, he took off his dress and she pushed Arthur to the bed, unzipping his pants, ready to perform a fellatio, Arthur stopped her then.

"You're drunk" – he said gently

"And?" – She responded with her strong Russian accent. - "isn't better that way?"

"_What the fuck is your problem, is a girl, a beautiful girl"_ but Arthur couldn't do it, he scorted her to take a cab.

The girl was really confused but she realized she didn't want it if he didn't want it, so she thank him for the evening and kissed him tenderly on the cheek "call me next time you're here, I left a card in the room" Arthur smiled and nodded "take care" he said "you too" she replied, then Arthur told to the taxist "drive her safe" but she had to traslate it, the man looked a Arthur and nooded, then she was gone.

Eames was in the two bedded room feeling miserable, he knew what was going on. _"That's it, a couple kisses, million conversations, countless masturbation over the phone and then he fucks the first girl he sees at the first brawl, classic" _he closed his eyes trying to sleep and eventually he did.

Arthur had drink enough to be brave, so after a quick shower he leaved the room and knocked on Eames door.

Eames knew it was him, and didn't want to open the door until Arthur kick it hard yelling "open the fucking door, I know you're there" Eames opened the door angry.

"What?" he yelled at him, but he didn't imagine Arthur's defiance

He grabbed Eames by that _awful_ pink stamped shirt throwing him into bed and pinned him down by his wrists "get off!" Eames would yell trying to free himself but it was all in vain, Arthur was strong too, he wasn't going anywhere.

"You're drunk Arthur, get off"

"Shut up"

"You had sex with her didn't you?"

"No" – he stopped for a second looking at him.-

"Why?" – He asked, smirking triumphant.-

"You" – Arthur kissed him violently. – "You" – he kissed him again, this time giving Eames more time to react, kissing Arthur back.

Their teeth crashed, Arthur felt aroused just by feeling Eames fleshy lips moving slowly between his, Eames would feel a knot in his stomach indicating bad news.

Arthur undressed him, ripping the bottoms of his shirt violetly "hey!" Eames yelled "Is a fucking ugly shirt and you won't miss it" would be Arthur's reply, kissing his mouth urgently licking his way down to Eames womb, unzipping his pants, getting back to his lips.

Arthur slid his hand under Eames pants, touching him for the first time, Eames would moan at Arthur's touch, slow but firm "_fuck_" he would groan with eyes closed yet smiling and laughing, realizing how surreal the situation was "and I thought you were so pristine" Eames would joke, "shut up" Arthur would say, laughing too "I don't know what I'm doing" he flushed, "oh no sweetie, you do, you know it very well" Arthur would laugh at this and about every noise Eames did and he would get mad uselessly because he was under Arthur's will, succumbing so fast, unable to utter a single understandable word, "ready to beg and _take_" as Arthur thought

"Not without a little fight" Eames thought too noticing Arthur's smirk. Already naked Eames started to undress Arthur really fast and not as gentle as his _friend_, kissing, licking, biting every inch of skin he could he made Arthur face down in bed all sudden, spreading his legs, kissing his neck, Arthur would panic and Eames would notice "you're not that strong" he teased, but Arthur fought and set himself free "is that so?" he replied victorious.

"I want you" he said to Eames in an undertone, as they lay in bed, Eames was smoking cigarette "is that ok to you?" Arthur wondered shyly "yes" Eames half smiled to him nodding then kissed him strongly "absolutely"

Arthur tried face down Eames on the bed but he would struggle. Arthur would smile accepting the challenge being more aggressive, Eames throwed him on his back, getting on top of him, spreading Arthur's legs again while kissing his shoulders, Arthur would react pushing him away and grabbing him by the arms, wrestling again, "come on!" he'd yell and Eames would laugh "you're going to know!" Arthur laughed too, a bit frustrated, they'll strive for a while until Eames finally gave up letting Arthur push him down into the bed.

Arthur kissed Eames back not really knowing what to do next, he just kept kissing his lower back for a while caressing his thighs the back of his neck "help me out here" he said to Eames with embarrassment, Eames would smile and place Arthur's hand on one of his buttocks "there honey", Arthur would flush and feel mortified.

Eames looked for a condom in his pants moments after and put it on Arthur kissing him lovingly "are you sure about this?" he asked "we can wait" Eames looked at Arthur worried, Arthur shook his head and kissed Eames boldly "I want this" Eames heart went faster and remembered the first time he let someone do it, he didn't enjoy it, it was painful and unpleasant but the second time was different and it was because one basic reason: He was in love and perhaps he was falling in love with Arthur too, that's why he accepted to give in first, to show Arthur it was ok, that he trusted him enough to give in.

"You told me you didn't feel relevant" said Eames feeling Arthur's body against his back "but you are" Arthur stopped abruptly "you're not saying this just for.." , "baby" Eames said a bit annoyed "who's about to get fucked in the arse?" Arthur groaned "why do you have to be so!" , "be so graphical? I told you, it is what it is, I want this too… just be gentle" he laughed naughty "shut up… I will" Arthur closed his eyes, kissing Eames neck when a strange feeling warmed his womb "_agh, merde"_ he would curse internally, but it was to late for that.

It was all too silent, Eames buried his face into the bed in pain, and Arthur closed his eyes trying to calm down and then Eames would groan, a raw painful groan. Arthur kissed his neck going really slow "are you ok?" he asked, Eames nodded with his face buried between the sheets, Arthur nodded too aroused closing his eyes strongly, "breathe" he said to himself "you don't want this to end in a minute" so he would try to distract himself, Eames tried too but it was painful "_damn it"_But there was a moment when they both were thinking about each other, both would smile without the other noticing starting to connect and enjoy it.

Eames moved against Arthur for a while making him swear in French "_be gentle huh?_" he would add too, Eames would laugh very loud still in pain, Arthur caressed and grabbed Eames waist bringing his hips towards him going faster all too abruptly. Eames moaned and cryed all kinds of swears but Arthur knew he didn't have to stop, he embraced him, bringing him up, with his arms aroud Eames chest, and his face close to his breathing fast, moaning and sweating. Eames reached his lips from a very difficult angle, laughing at Arthur's flushed face, Arthur would make him face down again "laugh now" he teased, but Eames did, he laughed but his laugh was a painful cry aswell Arthur smiled "keep laughing" he said naughyt Eames started to cry painfully "slow down" Eames would beg hastily and Arthur feeling his womb warm again felt too stirred up, he went really slow falling on Eames back "I'm close" he said in tiredly out of breath, Eames smiled "I'm close" it was a cute way to say it, he thought. Eames sorting out himself away from Arthur, taking him by surprise turned to him and kissed him violently, ripping off his condom, throwing Arthur on his back.

"Close, huh?" he asked between kissing, jacking him off rapidly, Arthur gasped for air with eyes closed, Eames was bruising his neck, biting, licking and sucking "_fuck_" Arthur cried "_fuck_" breathing strongly... "ah, ah" said Eames looking at him crooked, "don't fight it, my love" he slid his tongue over Arthur's lips, making him blank, making him come in a piercing cry, "that's better; that's a lot better" Eames smiled jubilant.

Arthur stayed with eyes closed for a while, Eames lifted a cigarette as he sat on the corner of the bed, Arthur was trembling exhausted hands on his chest, not thinking about anything really, he felt the smell of the smoke, opening his eyes he saw Eames from behind, covered in sweat.

"John" he whispered, Eames turned his face and smiled "yes, sweet heart?" ; "come here" he said in a soft voice, Eames crawled his way to Arthur chest, resting against it, still smoking, Arthur caressed his hair while Eames feeling his touch closed his eyes and felt sleepy.

Arthur started to kiss his forehead, his ears, his nose "mmmm" Eames would moan, Arthur smiled as he kissed him on the lips "that was very..." Arthur stoped for a second, trying to figure the right word "very..." Eames teased, Arthur touched Eames erection and kissing him boldy "very..." he repeated unable to come up with a word while he mastubated him, Eames closed his eyes strongly it wasn't going to take much before he went off "what, Arthur?" ... "Relevant" Arthur added finally kissing him strongly, Eames went blank, gasping for air as he came.

They slept for a couple hours, Arthur woke up first. Eames was giving his back to him, Arthur started to kiss him on the shoulders, and Eames opened his eyes heavily. Arthur kissed his neck, his ears, it was 4 am. Eames enjoyed Arthur's attentions for a bit, he pretended to be too tired to even utter a word or turn his body towards him. Arthur didn't mind, he buried his face above Eames shoulder, against his neck and stayed like that for a couple minutes, Eames smiled and a couple seconds later he was facing Arthur giving him a silly smile, Arthur kissed him tenderly, barely pushing his lips against his, then he went slowly to his neck, caressing his chest, kissing his rib cage, this particular thing, turned Eames on again.

Arthur looked for another condom. Pressed his body against Eames chest getting on top of him, kissing him passionately, spreading his legs, grabbing Eames waist up placing a pillow under, getting in roughly. Eames gave a piercing cry of pain looking at him with frowned face "you fuck!" he groaned, Arthur smiled crookedly "don't fucking smile you little cunt!" Eames laughed; Arthur shut him up with a kiss. This time was different, Arthur wasn't afraid or self-conscious.

Eames let him take all control thought, he would feel so much pain at times and he would cry and curse, and hit but he let him have all control because he was enjoying it, they were both enjoying it. It was fast and needy then really slow and tender then wildly fast again, Arthur face was frowned with pleasure a delight for Eames eyes; he started to jack off… Arthur came rapidly, crying in such a deep tone that Eames body bristled, Arthur succumbed on Eames chest for a few seconds, and both laughed. He placed his hand on Eames, he was stiff and he jacked him off as it was himself, Eames came fast too aroused, they embraced each other hurriedly clawing each other skin, pressing and breathing out so hard, like they were about to collapse and burn.

"_God_" Arthur exhaled on Eames mouth "_how can this be wrong?"_ he said in an despaired tone "is not" Eames looked straight into his eyes "_is not_" Eames rested his body against Arthur's.

"I talked to my mom about this" he said all sudden "she felt it was her fault" ; "all moms do" was Eames reply "give her time" ; "she won't get used to this, never" ; "she doesn't have to, she just need to know that you're ok, you have to let her know she raised you good and that you'll continuing doing things right as she teached you... that includes getting your degree" ; "you're right" ; "I know I am" Eames smiled funnily.

"I went to Amy's grave but I haven't stop dreaming about her like that" ; "I'm sorry to hear that" they gave each other a compassionated look "I saw my mom too, she wants to meet you" said smirky; Arthur lifted his eyebrow unbeliever "does she?" ; "oh yes, you see, she knows I have a great taste so she already knew you were cupcake, my dear" ; Arthur laughed out loud "I'm never going to get used to your romantic slang" he said between laughs "I imagine a girl saying things like that" ; Eames laughed silly, "Well, I've always felt more in touch with my feminine side, believe me you could put me a wig and a dress any day when I was 20 and I was a pretty cute girl" Arthur looked at him not believing his words "you don't look very feminine to me, is the contrary actually I can't picture you with a wig and a dress" ; "now you can't, because I've gained weight with age but yeah, in general terms – the paused for a second looking at the ceiling.- Arthur, I've never felt like one of the boys".

Arthur raised his eyebrow unbeliever again, "hard to picture since you're a compulsive gambler with a very peculiar to say the least, sense of fashion and a very inked body–he paused thoughtful .- and to be honest the thing that attracted me from you besides your obvious good looks was your manly attitude you looked everything but feminine to me, actually – he said.- I think I wouldn't like you if you were too feminine "

Eames looked at Arthur surprised "I thought you liked me because I insisted so much that you said 'OK!" I didn't thought you like me for any other reason" Arthur's eyes opened widely "I'm not experimenting with you, it took time to accept that I was attracted to you and give in yes... but I knew it and started to think about it after Fisher's job, I kinda missed you then. –He laughed a bit embarrassed.- I kissed Ariadne to keep myself sane somehow, I didn't want to lose my track and I have to admit, Ariadne is a very interesting girl" ;

"well, she is my favorite pet indeed, I would have been pleased if you'd have gone further, jealous of course but pleased" -Eames said sympathetically- also you must know that I felt you had no imagination, I told it to Dom before fisher's job and yet I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was away after it, I had so much fun" he smiled widely remembering Arthur being pushed off the chair by Yusuf "I guess by fun you mean me falling off the chair, several times" Arthur frowned almost feeling the pain when he felt on the floor, he looked at Eames who was glancing him half sleep with a silly smile.

"I need a shower" he said "can I come?" asked Eames smiling naughty, Arthur rolled his eyes "is not like I can't stop you from doing it, can I?" "I would be there only if you want me there" Eames was not smiling anymore, he wasn't mad just calm, "let's take a shower" replied Arthur equally calm.

"After this we could change to my room, is bigger"

"As you wish" replied Eames soaping his chest.

Arthur was in front of him watching him shower; Eames passed the soap and gave him some room to feel the water. Eames would make him self-conscious though because he looked at him with such attention that Arthur nodded a bit embarrassed by Eames look, mostly when he was looking at his penis "would you stop?" he asked finally flushed "Why?" replied Eames naïve, "it makes me feel dumb" he flushed, "you can look too" he smiled mockingly, Arthur gave it a quick glance then got back to his face, Eames laughed "liked what you saw?" , "oh, shut up!" Arthur got a bit mad giving his back to him, Eames started to soap Arthur's back "I think is a bit too late to get shy" he said laughing , "I know" Arthur replied "but you're intimidating ok? I feel like a... like a girl.", "you're not a girl, you're everything but that", "I have my doubts now you know? looking at you, all manly with tattoo's and bad character, what am I?" , "you're Arthur, you are stuborn and intelligent, your strong and you just fucked me, twice... that's not very girly"Arthur laughed "I suppose so" he added.

"When is your flight?" - asked Eames smoking a cigarette, both already in Arthur's room.

Arthur looked at the clock, 5 in the morning "at 8 am" he said worried...

"Should we meet soon or" he asked being shy this time

"I'd like to meet your mom... in a couple weeks" he added smiling.

"well" Eames said smirking "that gives us 2 hours of bed frolic..."

"bed frolic?" Arthur lifted his eyebrow sarcastically "I don't think so..."

* * *

so yeah, I did a little trip to the Amazons weeks ago and by little I mean 24 hours and I remember how much I love my country is breath taking... btw the tepuyes and the "Angel Fall" are portrayed in Disney Pixar's "UP" so I come up with the idea of sending Ariadne along Cobb there but is not like I'm necessarily pairing them here but I don't dislike the idea, they're so differents that it might even work.

as I "said" on the top I'm working on a epilogue which will resume this up in a very smooth way, I hope, is all in my head I just wish I could have more time to sit and write so if I take more time, I'm sorry and I know I suck.

btw I know you guys don't watch or understand much football but by the time I started to write this (weeeks ago) Arsenal was the second and Liverpool was on the bottom... now Arsenal is in the 4th place since they lost the "London Derby" against Chelsea (Yusuf's team in this fic) so I'd like to picture Yusuf mocking at Eames REALLY BAD about this... Liverpool on the other hand is still at the bottom, being 18 of 20th teams... not the best season so far but I hope that will change soon since the owners of the Boston Red Sox (yes, yes the baseball team) buyed Liverpool FC, but meanwhile Arthur and I are suffering... a lot.

and Finally for now... I do a lot of reference of Francésc "Césc" Fábregas (I don't own him either... sadly) so you should check him out, he's Arsenal's Captain and freaking amazing footballer .com/watch?v=9rs5lKdHSxU


	6. VI

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them.

I hate myself for this BUT I hate round numbers, I really do that's why I couldn't finish it on VI chapters I'm sorry for dragging this so much, I swear the VII chapter will be the last -and the epilogue.- I'd love so much to write about them forever but I need to move on even thought I will always fantasy with them, forever.

anyways, as always, Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and alerters it gives me the courage to keep writing.

* * *

**F I R S T - T I M E S **

**Arthur & Eames. **

**C H A P T E R - V I  
**

**Panic**

"Shut up, I'm not too shabby" Eames grunt looking himself in the mirror

"Rite" Arthur replied rolling his eyes.

Eames would give Arthur an exasperated look saying "bugger off! It doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does, that coat is way too heavy for you and too big and it's an awful grey too" Arthur replied annoyed,

"I'm done with this quarrel" Eames said taking off the coat defeated "I'll wear the Burberry Coat" he walked fast towards the closet.

Arthur felt stupid, he went closer to him slowly placing his hand over his shoulder "you don't have to wear that coat, you're right, it doesn't matter" Eames turned his face to him scratching his forehead "I don't want to argue, specially today" he said in low tone then he walked towards the bar and half filled a glass of vodka with the black coat with cashmere neck on his hands.

Arthur kept standing in front of the closet, giving his back to Eames, thinking the right words to say.

"I didn't panic" – he whispered – "I didn't"

Eames drank the vodka in one shot, his throat was burning afterwards "I'm not saying you were, I'm not bringing anything up" he added.

"But I am" he said turning to Eames "I wanted to call you, to let you know about my dad…" he said with a trembling voice "I never saw him again after they got divorced so I didn't thought it would be so hard, but it was" – Arthur frowned his face angrily "and it's weird when I think about it, because he just left and never went back, he didn't kept in touch or anything,"

"I understand" he said genuine "that's why I'm here, because I understand" he gave him a glance, Arthur felt a bit worried by Eames expressionless look, they kept eyes into each other until Eames, giving up, half smiled crookedly. Arthur laughed scratching his eyebrows with both hands, feeling embarrassed, he was flushed "so sweet yet so wicked" he said lowly "and I love it" he added in thought and feeling silly as he looked back at Eames who was fully smiling at him.

"You're too cute Arthur" – he said wearing the coat.-

"I'm sorry, I'll really want to meet your mom" Arthur said as he walked towards the door

"It's ok, you will meet her at some point, now let's go".

As they walked their way out of the hotel Eames remembered how much he hated Moscow; he hated "bloody Russia" and his "perennial frosty weather"

Arthur on the other hand found Russia quite unique, the almost perpetual snow covering the woods and the wildness in them contrasting with the big cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg was something to be appreciated.

"You're whining about the biggest country in the world, more than a ninth of the Earth's land area, like the 40% of Europe, with 9 different time zones and about 142 millions of people"- Arthur told him as they walked through snowy Red Square, admiring the general splendor of the holiday.

Arthur was dressed in a skinny blue suit harmonized with a pale brown shirt and a skinny brown tie, all by Burberry Prorsum and also a pair of 'Lawyer' Allen Edmonds brown shoes and a double breasted, belted trench coat in a honey color, his hair was messy thought no gel on it… he looked stunning, as always.

"142 millions of frozen arses… if you give it a thought, why couldn't we receive the year in a nice warm weather?, I will kill to be in Monaco- he sighed.- actually, I could shed some tears just by thought of it" - Eames looked the crowed Square and the loudness of the music. People speaking a language he couldn't understand, the snow under his shoes all with a sentiment of burden, he really preferred Monaco this time of the year.

He was dressed with a long black sleeve cotton check shirt with hints of red and a small patch pocket on the left side – where he kept his 'cancer sticks'. - covered with that black Burberry trench coat Arthur loved so much completed with black cotton cargo trousers, and black regular shoes, his hair was also messy falling a bit on his forehead

"Yeah, so we can receive the year on a casino, I don't think so!" – Arthur shook his head in disapproval "this is far more interesting" he gave him an encouraging look, trying to pass on his excitement on him.

"Not convinced" he said frowning "you just get away with this once… this once" he said looking awkwardly sideward as a girl smiled at him, she wasn't alone; another girl was smiling at Arthur too.

He realized Eames awkwardness and found it funny "afraid of the ladies?" he said mockingly

"Shut up!" – He said annoyed "I'm not afraid of anybody"

"Eames…" Arthur frowned thoughtful "you…" he muttered but Eames placed his hand on Arthur mouth

"Yes Arthur, my dear, I like women. I've been with tons of women. I've been in love with a few of them too" Eames took his hand away smiling silly.

"Did we bring the gloves? Your hands are so cold" he looked for them in his pockets.

"I have them right here" he said as he opened one of his cargo pockets "see?" he added sarcastically "this pants are quite useful" he lifted an eyebrow looking childish.

Arthur smiled taking his gloves, it was really cold, it was the coldest he had ever been, but it was beautiful, the square was snowy and full of colorful lights and people and kids with Christmas lights running all over the place, a lot of foreign people too, he noticed the girls across them taking photos.

"Crap" – he said then, realizing something.-

"I bought a disposable camera too" he said looking for it on his pockets giving Arthur that silly look again, he handed him a small white Kodak "I thought you wanted to take some pictures", "I do" Arthur replied smiling broadly "thank you", "you're welcome sweet heart" he said as Arthur checked the film and the flash… "Say cheese Eames" he said out of nowhere, taking him a picture.

"We're in a living postcard right now" he said in awe "I love this" he looked at Eames who was already giving him a funny look, "aren't you happy?" Arthur asked a bit anxious "I know is cold but…", "I feel _very merry_" he replied laughing a bit sarcastic "and yes, is fucking cold… but I'm with you" he gave him a silly smile. Arthur grabbed him by coat bringing him closer, side by side, he kept his hand on his arm, and Eames reacted smiling broadly then giving him a brooding look for a second, "what?" Arthur said uneasy "nothing" Eames answered giving him a wink.

It was almost midnight, people started to talk louder, sing, the music was everywhere. Eames chest filled with fear and anxiety, he stopped breathing for a second. Arthur chest was burning, he held Eames hand between his, Eames looked at him a bit surprised, then smiled calm, "_20 seconds before midnight"_ someone screamed close to them in perfect english, Arthur gave a glance to his watch. Eames felt really nervous, this was in fact the first time he did something like this, he used to spend and receive his years alone and mostly drunk, he breathed deep and exhaled heavily.

"Are you ok?" – Arthur asked while everybody started the countdown

Eames nodded "yes" he said loud so Arthur could hear him "I'm ok"

8, 7, 6… Arthur gave him a caring look, Eames chest started to burn, Arthur smiled, 5, 4, 3… Eames smiled too, 2, 1… "_Happy new year!" _they yelled to each other in laughter, the square filled with noise, they looked around for a bit contemplating the crazy joyful ambient, Arthur took the camera with his free hand, taking a picture of the square, Eames smiled widely astonished by the moment. They looked at each other, Eames embraced him, "I feel '_very merry'_" Arthur said to his ear, Eames hold him stronger, Arthur kissed his neck tenderly and then in a few fast seconds their lips were pressing clumsily against each other.

The rest of the night would go walking thought the square, taking pictures, people stared at them because at moments, but there wasn't _that many_, never the less the anguish in Eames was raising by every hour, he felt too happy at times but then he felt mortified out of nowhere. Arthur would notice and they'd head back to the hotel around 2 am.

Eames sat in one of the couches and looked at Arthur as he started to take off his trench coat

"Come here" said Eames.

Arthur walked towards him calm and stopped in front of him, glancing at his crossed legs.

Eames looked at him head to toe carefully, noticing everything: From his tired eyes to the shape of his arms and abs under the tight shirt, he looked his mouth as he licked it nervous. He palmed his tight demanding "get here" he said, spreading his legs so Arthur got nearer. Eames took one of his arms bringing him closer and staggering, Arthur got on top of him.

Eames started to kiss him violently, it felt strange, this wasn't quite right for some reason but Arthur let it flow as he felt how he placed his hands on his buttocks and started to breath uneasy, biting his lips, making Arthur moan with pain, unzipping and pulling down his pants, throwing him on his back and getting on top of him urgently.

Arthur stopped him for a second "what's wrong?" he asked frowning with concern, "nothing" Eames replied kissing him again, "John" Arthur blocked him nervous. Eames looked at Arthur's worried complexion but he didn't say anything. Arthur pushed him away kindly and zipped his pants as Eames closed his eyes scratching his forehead.

"John, please" Arthur sitting next placed his hand on his chest waiting for him to look at him.

Eames leaned on him, kissing him which such care that Arthur immediately frightened.

"What... Are you serious right now?" he asked pushing him away uneasy.

"I realized something very crucial tonight" said deep in thought looking at the door "you're going to break my heart" he glanced at Arthur, but it wasn't an anguished or even an angry glance, it was pain what draw into a smile. "Aren't you, my love?"

Arthur shook his head angrily "no, no…no!" he said loud almost yelling, Eames smiled sore, this terrified him "You're not going anywhere" he said authoritarian, giving him an irritated look.

Eames stood up, walking towards his bags "I need to…" he mumbled walking back and forth "I…" he felt unable to utter a sentence so he just walked towards the door, Arthur reacted, he ran to the door pushing him away "no" he said mad "NO" he repeated exasperated.

"What are we doing Arthur, honestly…" he said frustrated

"You know exactly what we're doing, don't come up with this shit now, come on!" Arthur's tone was loud gesticulating energetically to Eames who had grabbed one of his bags already.

"shit?" he yelled at him "you kiss me then you go while I'm sleeping then you're back all giving and romantic then you leave again and then guess what? We're here and it's too perfect and I have a hard time buying it" he said heated, clearly trembling.

"You're panicking" Arthur said softly giving him a caring anxious look "you're just panicking"

"What if I'm not?" he said passing his hand over his hair then over his face "what if I'm right?"

"What? like an epiphany 'this is too perfect to be true'?" Arthur shook his head vigorously "you think I haven't thought that too? I think about it every time I kiss you and my chest starts to burn!" he yelled kicking the chair next to the door "sometimes I think this is not real, after every phone call I would throw my dice, "just to be sure" –he quoted with his fingers.- so don't fucking talk me about epiphanies you fucking idiot! You started this!"

"I started this?" Eames got closer raising his eyebrow mordantly "you came to me that night in that room, and you talked me night after night over the bloody phone telling me how much you enjoyed yourself, fucks sake we're in Moscow on fucking New Year's Eve because of you, you Arthur, don't be so cynical, you cunt!"

"You're wrong" he said completely irritated "_you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling_, _just make sure to be back before the kick –_he mimicked Eames English accent_. - _And the looks, _fucks sake!_ – He trembled.- the way you looked at me all this time, you were always close, always teasing, it was always there with you, the –he swallowed uneasy.- the jokes and staying afterhours to 'help' Yusuf with the somniferous, really? I started this? I'm cynical? Fuck you Eames!"

Eames started to breathe faster and faster, it was St. Petersburg all over again, he looked at Arthur and saw himself punching him in the face and leaving right after… "I teased yes, I shouldn't have and I realize that now"

"John, just" Arthur swallowed apprehensive "I know where you're coming from, I know, but just don't…" he paused as his voice broke a little "… I won't find you again, I just know it" he exhaled weary out of breath "you'll disappear if you cross that door, you can't disappear, I won't allow it"

"What are you going to then?" he said smiling wicked, "I'd like to see you trying to stop me" he added mad.

"Fucking asshole" Arthur groaned irritated and offended "you want to go?" he yelled frantically as he opened the door "then go… get the hell out of here then!"

Eames took his bags and walked towards the door; all smiles even when inside his chest was flaming and his throat was a knot and all he wanted was scream and cry.

As he walked besides him, Arthur grabbed him by the arm so strongly that hurt, they looked at each other madly then Arthur took him back inside by the collar of the shirt, Eames bags fell on the floor. Arthur pushed him violently a couple times "this is what you want?" he said breathing fast, frown "is it?" Arthur hit his face with the palm of his hand, slapping him aggressively "you make want you, I let you touch me, I made love to you!" he fisted his hand and hit him in the chest "do something!" Arthur yelled, and then Eames opened his eyes widely and smacked him of the face, and before Arthur could fall he took him by the shirt, throwing him against the wall.

Arthur's lower lip started to bleed, right in the corner, he growled enraged as he took Eames by the shoulders pushing him away, making him fall on the floor, then he kicked him on the side, right on the ribs a couple times, Eames groaned with pain but managed to grab his legs, knocking him down, crawling towards him, they took each other by the shirt, Arthur punched him on the mouth making him bleed at the first contact, right in the middle of his fleshy lips… and both would bleed, Arthur smiled frantic rising quickly to kick him again, but Eames also rose, faster, taking him by the waist to throw him on the bed getting on top of him quickly "I hate you!" Arthur yelled impotent, Eames smiled crookedly while leaning down slowly "no, you don't" he said as his lips went slowly over his, it hurt, his mouth was bleeding as he feathered his lips them over Arthur's thin mouth, and just when he got to the corner where he was still bleeding Arthur hissed, Eames sucked the wound tasting his blood, Arthur's fingers clawed Eames arms, Eames he moaned stirred, "_ah!_" Arthur cried feeling Eames teeth press his sore lip then biting upper, Arthur growled as he thrown his head back and pushed him away in pain "_va te faire foutre!_" Arthur gasped for air, Eames smiled naughtily as he passed his fingers across his lips clearing out the blood, Arthur touched his upper lip looking for signs of blood but there wasn't any.

"This scares the shit out of me, yes" he admitted finally "I can't do this" He raised and walked towards the open door, Arthur ran after him again but this time they didn't fight, this time Arthur embraced him, holding him strongly on the back "let's talk this out, please" Arthur begged and after a couple minutes Eames nodded, Arthur closed the door.

They sat on the table of the kitchen, in front of each other, composing themselves.

"I wonder if this is all that it is" Eames spoke first very calm, Arthur looked naïve not understanding his words, "you and me having brief encounters in frosty countries" he said in what somehow felt like a worried sarcasm

"We can make it work; we have the resources to make it work" Arthur replied automatically like he was ready to say this before Eames opened his mouth

"You mean we have the money to travel the world one weekend each month?"

"We work together" Arthur said calm "is not only on weekends."

"And still, there are slow months, sometimes we don't work for three or even five months and you know it"

"I'll travel"

"You'll travel" he repeated annoyed "so that's it, you'll travel… where?"

"Wherever you are, fucks sake!" he yelled mortified

"I don't have a home, I don't, I don't know where I'm going after this" Eames concern showed all over his face making his forehead frown.

"We'll be in touch, you can come home with me, you know?"

Eames looked irritated as he spoke "and then what? I'll stay a couple weeks, we'll have sex and then I'll get back to nowhere"

Arthur frowned madly "you really think this is just about the sex?" he shook his head unbelieving Eames words "I told you already, it's you, you _God damn it_"

"I should have thought this better. – He said looking mortified by Arthur's words -, I'm not steady, I have issues, I mean you saw it – he said referring to Amy. - I'm violent, I have a lot of anger inside, I'm constantly aching, and torn apart in so many ways you haven't seen yet, and I wouldn't handle too see you with a girl… or another man I just wouldn't, I'd prefer to disappear… -he looked at him apprehensive.- and to be honest Arthur, I firmly believe that this is going to end quick and bad, this is going to end in tears for me, I just know it, so I might better go now that we have time, when there's no damage and you can think things better and get back to what you really are and I just, well I will just leave."

Arthur was astonished by Eames words, he shook his head troubled "you really are panicking...back to what I really am" he said, thoughtful "this is what I am, right now here with you, when we talk over phone, when we work together, hanging around or sprawled across the bed …and the sex, well sex can be lame but is not lame between us because we care so don't do this, five months without working? Then come to L.A, stay a whole week, a whole month, your entire life, it's ok, it will be ok because I want you– he said putting a lot of weight on these words. – I know I've panicked, I know but would you please stop treating me like I don't know what I want? I'm not a fucking kid, I'm 27 fucks sake. – Arthur pushed the vase of flowers away, Eames catch it before it fell.

"Your need to calm the fuck down" he said then vexed "and you need to fucking understand what you're getting into, I don't fool around Arthur, that's the bottom line, I don't… I can't and that's why I panic because you can't be totally sane right now" he placed the vase in the center of the table again, where it belong.

"I'm not fooling around with you, you asked me not to play with you and I'm not!"

"So what, you want a relationship?" Eames laughed unbeliever

"Yes" Arthur nodded anxiously "that's exactly what I want"

"Oh, just shut it!" Eames said gesticulating gravely as he hit the table, the vase fell sideways "shut your mouth! Don't be ridiculous now Arthur, you just realized that you fancy the pants out of a man, you can't expect me to believe such horse shit, you might as well tell me you just want to fuck me and it would sound so much better, and convincing for that matter!"

"I fancy your _awful_ pants, yes" he said sarcastically "and I fucked you already, twice… is not horse shit, you're just making excuses because you're a pussy!"

"Fuck off" said angry yet half smiling while placing the vase to its original position "You'll get in so much trouble; I'm wanted in a couple South American countries, we wouldn't be able to go to Argentina or Brazil and those are the cool ones…" frowned with concern still half smiling.

"While I'm able to go around Chile and Uruguay there's no problem with me" he smiled mischievously "I'm being honest" he said taking his hand between his Eames lifted his eyebrow sarcastic "what!" Arthur shout annoyed "if someone asks I'll say 'yeah I'm with John, he's with me" Arthur winked at him.

"And now you can hear how my masculinity is flushed down the loo." He whispered glancing the ceiling mortified by Arthur's words, he was lost, he knew, "_I'm not going anywhere, bloody hell_" he said to himself as Arthur glanced at him expectant. "I opened Pandora's box didn't I?"

"I wouldn't call it a box" said Arthur mockingly as he rose from the chair walking towards Eames "I'm so tired" he said leaning down, caressing his wound lips with his fingers "I'm sorry about that"

"Don't be" he replied "I deserve it" he smiled content "can we go to bed now? I'm tired too"

As they laid on bed facing each other Eames closed his eyes tiredly, Arthur was about to succumb too but he fought a little more, he saw the bags next to the door and he panicked "I'm going to wake up and you're not going to be here, am I right?" he asked him, even when he seemed to be sleeping already "damn you" he said distressed "who's going to break the heart of who now?"

Eames was hearing every word as he faked his sleep, he waited long enough for Arthur to fall sleep, and he was so drained when he looked at him sleeping heavily thinking about leaving or not "I can't be this coward" he said to himself as he caressed Arthur hair delicately "I might as well enjoy it while it last" he touched his lips repeatedly, his chest was burning again "I can't do this" he said to himself gaining courage.

"_I'm sorry, Arthur but this is the best I can do, for I cannot bare the guilt for corrupting you in this way, you, who are meant for greater things, God Arthur, you are so young and brilliant you need to get back on track with your life and become who you're meant to be, I regret deeply the day I kissed you back because I'm just a distraction on the way, I'm nothing." _

Arthur would read the note over and over again as he gasped for air feeling sick, later he would throw up in the sink and fall on the floor where he stayed for hours cursing and aching "I won't find him, I won't find him" he repeated mentally as he quivered impotent.

* * *

not so random: I'm waiting eagerly to see whether if Nolan takes JGL into the new Batman - given the fact that he picked up Tom already.- because I really want to see those two together on screen again.


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